Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Anyone order one Frosty Colonial Marine? 'Cuz he's right here.

I walked out of the In and Out after the meeting with Elixir and Henchman. During the meeting, Henchie ate the food that Elixir bought, telling him that he forgot his wallet in his other outfit, then when we almost had a plan together, Henchman laughed and slapped Elixir and said that he was a judge. I’m getting confused, so who’s on our team anyway?

“Don’t worry about that guy,” I told the young mutant. “We’ll show him how we operate.”

Elixir’s a good kid, but it takes more than that to lead a team like this. Fortunately, I have a plan. To assassinate a target like this takes a real evil mind and who’d the most evilest of them all? Super villains are! I have to get to know a super villain and pump him for evil assassination-type information.

Silently and sneakily, I crept into Deadpool’s office. I know that as merc for hire, he’s got to have some contacts in the evil super villain category – I just have to find them.

Then I saw it, Deadpool’s journal, only it had a combination lock on it. Fortunately, as a hard core Colonial Marine, I have a bunch of unusual talents. One of those talents is diary lock picking. Success, the combo was “616!”

I thumbed through the book until I saw a number for someone named “Lexy,” quickly I dialed it up on the phone.

“Luthor here,” the voice on the other end said.

“Hey Lex,” I said. “This is Private Hudson, I’m on a show and I’d like t—”

*click*

Hmm. Something must be wrong with the line. I’ll try another. Here’s a “V. Doom,” I’m sure he’ll help out, so I punched up the number on the phone.

“This is Doom,” a tinny voice on the other end rumbled.

“Dr. Doom? Hey, this is Private Hudson, I’m trying to find out what it’s like to be a super villain.”

“Private Hudson?” Doom said. “What kind of a villain’s name is that?”

“Uh, well, I’m still in training,” I managed to answer. “That’s why I called you for advice.”

“That’s what Doom gets for letting Doom’s secretary go to lunch,” he sighed. “OK, let Doom give you a few quick pointers. First, you have to refer to yourself in the third person.”

“I know, I mean, Hudson knows that he can do that,” Hudson answered. (See, it works)

“Good, another thing is that you have to think big,” Doom continued. “Why would you want to be some two-bit thug with a boomerang robbing banks or some guy with a glue gun knocking over jewelry stores when you can conquer your own country and plot revenge against your cursed enemies?”

“Think big,” I repeated.

“Doom hates that damnable Reed Richards,” Doom growled quietly. “Richards will rue the day he first crossed Doom!”

“OK.” I should have grabbed a notepad, this is some juicy stuff!

“One more thing, and this ties into thinking big,” Doom rumbled. “Thinking big means everything has to be big. You don’t just march into Washington with a bunch of troops; you need a big hypno ray or some cyborg dinosaur clones or perhaps Doom’s favorite – Doom’s time machine.”

“Wait, if you have a time machine, why don’t you go back in time and stop Richards from beating you?”

“This conversation is over!” Doom yelled and I heard the phone disconnect.

I sat there thinking about how I could think big. I needed something big and fast. Big and fast. Boy, I could go for another burger right now. Maybe some Jell-O, too.

Jell-O! That’s it!

Quickly, I got a bunch of containment suits and filled them all with radioactive Jell-O. I’ll air drop them right on top of the Koma, Synth-Lin and Cobracide robots!
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Saturday, October 21, 2006

Yippee Ki Yay Muther Humper!

Alright! Finally! The mantle of leadership is finally mine! It's about time. I looked over at Henchman and Private Hudson and saw that they were waiting expectantly for me to give orders.

"Er . . well . . um . . what do you guys say we go and get some food at the In and Out Burger over on Camrose?" I asked them.

They nodded at each other and we grabbed a cab over to the burger joint. We got our food and then started to make our plans.

"So, uh, what do you guys think about this task?"

"I don't know, man," Hudson said, showing all the dinners the large amount of food he had managed to shove in his mouth. He swallowed and continued. "I'm not an assassin, you know? If we had to kill some giant bug monsters, no problemo."

Henchman turned to him. "If it'll ease your conscious, Koma is a super-villian."

"Uh, yeah, but isn't he a friend of yours?" I asked.

"Super-villians ally once in a while but we aren't really friends. Egos and competitions you know."

"Okay, so I got no problem fraggin' Koma," Hudson continued, pausing to take a big sip of his root beer. "But that Synth-Lin is a total fox. The H-Man has a rule about wasting foxes."

Henhman and I stared at him for several minutes. Finally I broke the silence by asking, "What is that rule?"

"I am against it. Duh!"

"Ok, but what about Corbiscide?"

"Never heard of him," Hudson said. Henchman just shrugged.

"You know that Synth-Lin is just a robot," I pointed out. "It's not really like killing anyone."

"Aren't you suppose to be one of the good-guys, kid?" Henchman asked me. "I'd think murder would be out of playbook, hero or villian."

"Uh, yeah. What I was thinking was we could just use paintball guns or something. We score a hit to a major body part and then it would count as a kill. You know what I mean?"

Hudson snorted. Then he wiped off the ketchup that was hanging on his chin. "Deadpool is a merc, man. He's a killer. I don't think he's going to be satisfied with that 'could have killed' thing."

"Well, how about we get Beast to make robot versions of them and then we kill those. We can make videos of what we do and give those to Deadpool. He'll think we killed them and we won't have to kill anybody."

They looked at each and shrugged. Then they took big bites of their burgers.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Buu's plan

Ok we not find Corbicide. Koma keep disappearing. Buu can't find synth Lin life energy. Though Buu he did find TX and rip bad robot head off. So here's Buu's plan Buu blow Earth up .

This way we get them all at once, there also be no way they can get away nowhere to go. Also ther be no warning Buu just blow up planet. What you think? Hugo? Why you have hands on temples? You have headache?

Monday, October 16, 2006

CHALLENGE TWO!!!!!!!

Sorry for the interruptions, but the new season of Deal or No Deal has started which has prempted our challenge.

Taks number two is to kill Corbscide, Syn-Lin, and Koma. No rules, just avoid the authorties.

Leader of one team is Elixir, the other shall be Majinn Buu.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY MINIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND YOUR MASTER'S HONOR.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

CHALLENGE ONE HAS ENDED

The first challenge has ended. The winner is...Jumpin' Joeshausfaux. Merc' Brigade Hizzle lost because of sucking it up and Hudson getting the wrong girl. That's Orca, not Deathstroke's daughter Ravager. I couldn't make sense of Bizzaro's plan but it sounded okay to me, but yeah it didn't make sense.

Jumpin' Joeshaufaux should not celebrate so quickly though. Their is an error in their plan. I was actually created after Deathsroke. Rob Leifield stole his name to create me. Thus you should know in the Merc' biz research is always important.
You reward for winning this task shall be seeing Carrot Top live at the Apollo! Also because Oscar is a douche and has left the show, Mike is now on your team.

Bizzaro, because you make no sense I'm firing for you. Banshee's ghost scares me, apparently he never signed up for the show, just came to warn me to stay away from his daughter. So he's gone.

Next challenge up later this week! Discuss the results and team Joeshaufaux post about your experience.

-Deadpool THE GREATEST EVER, THE ONE THE LADIES WANT, AND THE MEN WANT TO BE.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Hello Friends

Tonight and my commrades went out for a alcoholic beverages. We had jovial time. I just wanted to issue a quick apology for my behavior. Sometimes I can be mean. Now I must go off and give hugs to everyone.